Dreams and Realities
by theyHAUNTme
Summary: Their whole relationship had been like a dream. You don't know how bad she wished this was. GSR
1. Prologue

**Dreams and Realities:**

**Prologue **

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI; I'm just trying to get my 13 year old self through the day by playing with them.

**Summary:** Their whole relationship had been dream-like. You don't know how bad she wished this was. GSR

**A/N:** This is my very first fan-fiction, so it probably sucks. This isn't beta-ed. Thanks a million to **devilssmile666**; she helped me get my ideas into clear, logical sentences! You rock girly!!

* * *

Ever since she had begun her relationship with Gil Grissom, Sara felt as though she were in a dream. He was such a gentleman to her; he opened the door, cleaned up the dishes, placed his hand on the small of her back whenever possible, always cared about how she was feeling, and he made sure she knew he loved her. Whenever they went to bed, she spooned herself against him, and he wrapped her up in his arms. He relished the smell of her hair when he woke up in the evenings before going to work. They had such good memories together, and loved each other with all of their hearts'.

He would even schedule their days' off on the same day when he could. He would spend hours and hours with her in his arms just relaxing, basking in her beauty and warmth. If she ever had an emotionally draining case, he would always be there to wipe away her tears. He would also draw her a warm bath and let her soak in the relaxing water. If they both had an emotionally draining case, they would both get a shower together and embrace each other, letting the warm water cleanse them and wash away the grime from that evening's grueling case.

When they both went to bed, Sara watched him closely and thanked God for him. She would always replay the good memories in her head. Their first date, their first kiss, their first time making love, and all the other times he had been so sweet to her.

However, one memory hung around in Sara's head that she could not get rid of. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get the memory to disappear. Tears prickled her eyes and a shiver ran through her body as the memory flashed before her eyes as if someone put it on repeat.

_"I'll meet you at home, hon," he said, kissing her when she was situated inside her car._

_They had driven separately because Grissom was called in early._

_"Okay, drive safely," she said._

_"You too."_

_He watched her drive off, and he walked to his car. He followed her all the way home, and they did not get separated until another drive decided to run a red light. Grissom's car was propelled to the side and slammed into the side of a brick building. Sara – after seeing the accident in her rearview mirrors – slammed on her brakes and vaulted out of her car. She sprinted to the crushed car and saw the bloodied, broken body of her boyfriend. His whole face was cut up by the glass from the front windshield as well as the driver's side window. The impact of his vehicle hitting the car and the building left Grissom's SUV nearly bent in half._

_"Gil, honey, talk to me sweetheart," she said, tears filling her eyes. "Gil!"_

_Grissom groaned in obvious pain and his eyes cracked open. Sara cupped his cheek and he said, "S-Sara."_

_"Yeah, hon, I'm here," she said, her voice thick from the tears. "Keep talking to me honey."_

_"I'm sor-sorry," he said weakly._

_"Don't you dare apologize to me Gilbert Grissom!" she cried, tears falling down her cheek. "Please don't...the ambulance is coming...you'll be okay in a few minutes. Just keep talking to me."_

_"Love you," he whispered._

_"I love you too, sweetheart," she said, her voice catching in her throat as she realized this could be their final goodbye. _'No, no! I refuse to let him go!'_ she thought fiercely._

_"So t-t-tired," he moaned, fighting to keep his bruised eyes open._

_"No, hon, you can't sleep," she said, hugging him closely, not caring that her new outfit was being saturated in his dark red blood._

_"Wanna s-sleep," he muttered thickly, his eyes drooping._

_"No, Gil, you gotta stay awake!" she ordered firmly._

_When she didn't get a response, she pulled away and saw that his eyes were closed. She swore loudly._

_"Damn it, Gil, WAKE UP!" she screamed. She looked over her shoulder at the crowd of people and asked, "Where's the damn ambulance?"_

_"It'll be here in a minute," someone from the crowd responded._

_Sara turned her attention back to her lover and kissed his bloodied lips. She took a bottle of water out of the cup holder and sprayed him with it, hoping it would revive him. To her surprise, it worked. He spluttered up water, and she flashed him a watery smile before saying, "Hon, stay awake for a few more minutes."_

_"Too h-hard," he said. "Just w-wanna sleep."_

_"Wait a few more minutes and I'll go to sleep with you," she said, hoping the compromise would work._

_"M'kay," he mumbled, blinking, but his eyes remained open._

'Finally!'_ she thought as she heard the sirens._

_Medical workers rushed up to her and loaded him onto a gurney. Sara held his hand and walked with him to the ambulance. They quickly loaded him in and they hooked him up to an IV and to a heart rate monitor. His heart rate was normal for now, and Sara prayed that it would stay that way. Within minutes, they were off to Desert Palm. Sara sat down next to Grissom and continued to talk to him._

_"You're gonna be okay, Gil," she said, caressing his hand with her thumb. "We're almost to the hospital...hang in there."_

_"I – can't," he murmured._

_"No, don't you dare give up on me!" she snarled. "Since when have you ever given up on something?!"_

_"I'm s-sorry ho-honey," he whispered, squeezing her hand weakly._

_"Please don't!" she pleading. Tears fell onto his hand as she brought it to her lips. She kissed his hand and whispered pleadingly, "Don't leave me!"_

_"Sorry..."_

_His once-bright blue eyes closed, and – to Sara's horror – his heart rate flat-lined.

* * *

_

**A/N 2:** Aww, that cliffhanger sucked, didn't it?! Well, blame **devilssmile666**...it's all her fault! Send your hate mail over to her...she made me do it...love ya hun!

I hope this is better than what I think it is. Personally, I think it's a load of sh- uh, crap, but I could be totally wrong. As I said this is my first fic, and I want you to honestly tell me what you think; if it sucked, say it sucked, if it was okay, say it was okay, if it was amazing, tell me it was, if I'm the worst writer on the face of the earth, TELL ME! Thank you.


	2. Waiting

**Dreams and Realities:**

**Waiting**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI; I'm just trying to get through the day by playing with them.

**Summary:** Their whole relationship had been dream-like. You don't know how bad she wished this was. GSR

**A/N:** This is my very first fan-fiction, so it probably sucks. This isn't beta-ed. Thanks a million to **devilssmile666**; she helped me get my ideas into clear, logical sentences! You rock girly!!

* * *

Tears filled Sara's eyes as she remembered this memory. She tried to shake it out of her head, but nothing worked. She hugged her pillow tightly and willed the tears away. Her chest hurt from restraining the tears, but she kept them in. She buried her face into the pillow as the memory played in her head again as if it was a movie. 

_When the monitor showed that Grissom's heart rate was a flat line and a loud BBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP filled the ambulance, Sara's heart nearly stopped as well. She tensed up and pleaded, "Oh God, please, NO!"_

_The paramedics quickly whipped out the electrical shock paddles. Sara watched as if in slow motion as they ripped off Grissom's blood-soaked shirt and applied the paddles to his bruised chest. Sara could see the bruise the seatbelt gave him as the car spun into the building minutes earlier. The paramedics shouted something – to Sara, it sounded like numbers, but she wasn't sure – and they gave him an electrical shock. His body jumped up, and landed back down on the stretcher._

_"Please God, let him live," Sara muttered, her eyes glued on the heart monitor._

_The black monitor continued to show a flat line, so they gave him another shock. They tried to restart his heart beat twice more before turning to Sara and saying, "I'm sorry, but he's gone."_

_"No!" she snapped harshly, tears welling in her eyes. "Please, keep trying. He's all I have, my whole world...please!"_

_The nodded with a sigh and tried again. They still could not get Grissom's heart to beat, but Sara just would not give up. Her head told her it was a fruitless attempt, but her heart refused to let him go. Well, the third time was a charm. His body convulsed into the air from the shock, and the monitor began to show a steady beat. Sara saw Grissom's chest rise and fall as he began breathing again._

_"Thank God!" she whispered through the stream of tears._

_They arrived at the Desert Palms Hospital twenty minutes later. Unfortunately, Grissom flat-lined again a few minutes before they got there. Sara's heart pounded uncomfortably in her chest as the medical workers frantically attempted to bring him back. Sara ran with them as they urgently wheeled him into the hospital. When they reached the operating room, one of the medic stopped her and asked, "Are you his..."_

_"His girlfriend," Sara finished, watching them wheel his body into surgery._

_"Okay, I need you to go and give his information to the woman behind the front desk," he said gently to Sara, who was obviously in shock over what happened. "Okay, hon?"_

_"Uh-huh," she said absently, turning around and walked to the receptionist's desk._

_After giving the girl behind the desk – the identification badge IDed her as Anna – Grissom's information, Sara went into the woman's bathroom. She sank to the floor after locking the door and cried into her knees. She sent up a quick but heart-felt prayer to God to let Grissom make it out of surgery alive._

_'What if he doesn't?' she asked herself._

_Bile rose in her throat and she barely made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. She rinsed her mouth of the foul, bitter taste and dried her eyes of the tears._

_"No, he'd going to make it," she told herself firmly. "He's got to."_

_She then gasped as she took a look into the mirror. This was the first time she had seen her reflection since the accident, and it was not a pretty sight. If you stood several yards away from Sara, you would have thought that her blouse was a maroon color instead of the soft lavender it used to be. The whole front of the blouse was caked in Grissom's blood, and it smelled strongly of copper._

_"I have to get out of these clothes," she told herself._

_She fished her cell phone out of the pocket of her jeans and debated who to call. Catherine seemed like the most logical choice, but they were not all that close. Greg? Hell, no...he would probably get an orgasm if Sara asked him to got through her drawers and bring her some clothes. Nick, Warrick? Maybe...they were like brothers to her, and they would both be mature about the situation. Brass...he was like a father figure to her, and she did not want him going through her clothes. She sighed as she hit speed dial five in order to reach the strawberry-blonde._

_"Hello?"_

_"Hey, Linds, is your mom home?" asked Sara, her voice sounding as though she had a bad head-cold._

_"Um, yeah," said the teenager. Lindsay must have noticed that Sara sound either sick or that she has been crying, because she then asked, "Sara, are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine," she lied, "I just really need to talk to your mother."_

_Sara heard footsteps on the other line, so she assumed Lindsay was looking for her mom. Then, Lindsay's voice said, "Mom, Sara needs to talk to you."_

_"Sara?"_

_"Hey, Cat, can you do me a huge favor?" asked Sara._

_"Sure," said Catherine, worry evident in her voice. "Are you okay? You sound like you've been crying."_

_"I need you to run to my house and get me a pair of clothes," she said, tears threatening to fall._

_"Okay...where do you want me to bring them, the lab?"_

_"The hospital," Sara whispered, tears leaking out of her dark eyes._

_"The hospital!" the blonde shrieked. "Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine...I just really need a pair of clothes," Sara said quietly, "please, Catherine?"_

_"Okay, okay, I'm coming," she said._

_"Thank you...the key is under the flower pot on the front porch," said Sara. "Do you know my new address?"_

_Catherine did not, so she told her. Sara told her she would explain everything once she got to the hospital._

_A half an hour later, Sara's phone rang. She picked up, and it was Catherine._

_"Where are you?"_

_"The ladies' room on the first floor," Sara answered._

_A few minutes later, a knock came on the door. Catherine identified herself, and Sara opened the door. Sara ushered in the older woman and quickly relocked the door. Catherine gasped at her co-worker's appearance._

_"Oh my God, Sara what happened?" she gasped, covering her mouth with both hands in shock._

_Sara broke down as she told the story again. Catherine embraced the sobbing brunette and helped her get cleaned up. With her motherly instincts kicking in, Catherine gently washed the blood off of Sara's face, neck, and arms. She then turned around so Sara could get changed in private. Once she was done, the two women walked to the waiting room._

_"Grissom and I got together two years ago," Sara said quietly, answering Catherine's unspoken question. "We moved in together a couple months ago and we've never been happier. Oh, God, what if he doesn't make it Catherine? You should've seen him...his whole body was either broken or bruised. He flat-lined twice and I don't even know if they revived him after the second time!"_

_"He'll pull through, hon, just wait," she said. Whether she was trying to convince Sara or herself, she did not know._

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

_They waited anxiously for over six hours. Sara was getting more and more nervous with every passing minute. Finally, a doctor came out and asked, "People for Mr. Grissom?"_

_Sara and Catherine jumped up and walked over to the doctor. Once she got there, Sara asked, "Is he gonna be okay?"_

_The doctor looked at her, opened his mouth, and said, "...

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_

**A/N 2:** Ain't I mean? Well, as I said, send your hate mail to **devilssmile666**...she made me do another huge cliffhanger. She won't mind...I told her to expect to hate mail and she didn't care.

Please review to let me know if it suck, was okay, or if it was great, or to tell me I should stop writing.


	3. Someone to Talk To

**Dreams and Realities:**

**Someone to Talk To**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI; I'm just trying to get through the day by playing with them.

**Summary:** Their whole relationship had been dream-like. You don't know how bad she wished this was. GSR

**A/N:** This is my very first fan-fiction, so it probably sucks. This isn't beta-ed. Thanks a million to **devilssmile666**; she helped me get my ideas into clear, logical sentences! You rock girly!!

* * *

The pain in Sara's chest was so tight, she though she would have a heart attack. She silently got out of the king-sized bed and walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. It had been over a year, but the memories were still plagued into her head. She gulped down the cold liquid, and then she heard a soft whine from down the hallway. She quickly walked into the room and lifted her daughter out of her crib. At the time of the accident, she had been nearly four months pregnant with baby Hayley. Right now, Hayley was five months old, and the center of Sara's whole world.

"Hey, baby, what's the matter?" she cooed softly, gently bringing the infant up to her shoulder. "Couldn't you sleep either? Let's go out into the living room and see if we can get you back to sleep."

Sara walked out into the living room and sat down onto the couch. She rested her back against the arm rest, and sat back on her tail bone, her knees up. She set her daughter's back against her thighs and looked into the deep blue eyes Hayley inherited from her father. Sara sighed as she stroked Hayley's soft, chubby cheek. Her daughter beamed at her, showing Sara her pink gums. A ghost of a smile flash across Sara's face as she whispered, "You're Daddy had so many injuries...I thought for sure that there wasn't an uninjured organ or bone in his body. I sat for hours with him, willing him to wake up."

_"Mr. Grissom is currently in a coma," the doctor informed the two women. "He had a lot of internal bleeding which we were able to stop for now. His heart stopped four times during surgery. But we were able to bring him back each time. He is in ICU until we feel safe to move him elsewhere. Mr. Grissom has a bruised spine, a shattered left arm, a crushed left foot, a dislocated right shoulder, a concussion, a burst spleen, a punctured lung, nine broken ribs, seven bruised ribs, a bruised liver, and six broken fingers. He also is not breathing on his own, so we have him hooked up to a ventilator until he breathes on his own."_

_"Can we see him?" asked Sara, her chest feeling as though a boa constrictor was squeezing it. "Please?" she whispered._

_"This is his fiancé, she saw him get in the crash, she was with him while they waited for an ambulance, she was with him in the ambulance, she saw his heart stop twice...she just needs to be near him right now," said Catherine, putting a hand on the brunette's shoulder._

_"Alright...but _only_ you," he said, leading her down a hallway that seem to never end. They finally came upon a door with the number 119 written in bold brass letters. The doctor reached for the handle and was about to open it when he turned back to her. He looked her straight in the eye as he warned, "He is very beat up...don't be alarmed at his appearance."_

_Sara nodded her head and the doctor opened the door. Even though his image when he was in the crash was still imprinted in her brain, she let out a soft gasp. She blinked back the tears as she went in after thanking the doctor. The door closed softly behind her, and she let out the sob that she had been holding in. The tears streamed down her cheeks as she walked over to him and held the hand that was not enveloped in a cast. She saw that four of the fingers on his right hand were in splints, and two on his left were also in splints. She kissed his hand tenderly and whispered, "Please wake up...you can't leave me here on my own."_

_Sara pulled up a chair and sat down, never taking her eyes off of him, for fear that he would leave her if she did. She tried to make the tears stop, but they never did. So, she just sat there, tears rolling down her face. The minutes felt like hours to her, and she willed him to wake up._

_"Please...I just want to say I love you, one last time," she moaned. "Is that too much to ask for?"_

_She sat there, and sat there, and sat there. For how long she was in there, she did not know, but she did not give a damn. All she wanted was to be close to him and never let him go. She cried into his hand as she murmured, "Why you? Why couldn't we have waited a few more minutes? Then the bastard would've driven into the building himself instead of sending you into the building! I should've kept talking to you for a few minutes!"_

_Sara curled up into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest. She felt so much constriction in her chest, she just wanted to scream. She put her hand on her stomach and closed her eyes, listening to the ventilator give Grissom oxygen. She placed her face in her hands and bit her lip. She bit it so hard that she tasted the coppery flavor of blood. She curled her hands into fists and it took her everything she had not to punch the wall. She looked at the man in the bed and bile rose into her throat, and she swallowed hard to keep it down. Her stomach felt queasy and she knew that she would vomit soon. She lethargically drug herself out of the chair and nearly ran to the bathroom. She passed Catherine on her way to the restroom, and the older woman looked at her with concern. Catherine followed the younger woman and heard the unmistakable sound of retching coming from inside the bathroom. Catherine waited until she heard the sound of the toilet flushing before knocking and saying, "Sara, it's me...please open the door."_

_The blonde heard it unlock, and the door opened to reveal the brunette. Catherine walked in and said, "Are you okay?"_

_Sara nodded, but then rushed over to the toilet to throw up again. Sara held her hair back until she finished regurgitating. She sank to the floor, tears in her eyes, hugging her abdomen. Catherine suddenly understood._

_"Does Gil know?" she asked softly, kneeling down beside the weeping woman._

_Sara nodded and whispered, "He was so excited when I told him. I have a doctor's appointment in a few weeks to find out the gender of the baby. He's been praying for a baby girl, but told me that he'd still love the baby if it's a boy. Now, I don't know if my baby will even have a father."_

_"Sara, you know Gil...when has he ever given up?" asked Catherine, attempting to mollify her. "Just have some faith that he'll pull through...let's go back to his room, okay?"_

_Sara nodded and pushed herself up. The two women walked back to his room, and Sara walked back in. Catherine left her, saying that she was only a phone-call away. Sara sat back down in the chair she deserted a few moments ago. She let out a breath she did not realize she was holding and snarled, "Gilbert Grissom, you'd better wake up! If you die, who will help me take care of our child? Who will sit with me and put up with the shit that comes out of my mouth? Who will I lean on when I don't feel strong? Who will wipe away my tears? Who will make me laugh when I have a bad day...who's gonna love me?"_

_She wiped her eyes angrily, but it was a fruitless attempt; more tears just took their place.

* * *

_

**A/N 2:** Okay, it wasn't as bad as a cliffhanger this time. I know, you all still want to know whether or not he makes it. It makes it even worse now that you know Sara's pregnant and has a baby girl. Please review...I'll give you a cookie!

**A/N 3:** I hope it wasn't a horrendous chapter. I'm all hyped up on pain pills because of my broken arm. I'm not making any sense to my foster family...hopefully this chapter makes sense!


	4. Five Months Afterwards

**Dreams and Realities:**

**Five Months Afterwards**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI; I'm just trying to get through the day by playing with them.

**Summary:** Their whole relationship had been dream-like. You don't know how bad she wished this was. GSR

**A/N:** This is my very first fan-fiction, so it probably sucks. This isn't beta-ed. Thanks a million to **devilssmile666**; she helped me get my ideas into clear, logical sentences! You rock girly!!

* * *

Sara continued to stroke her daughter's cheek until Hayley shut her bright eyes. A small smile graced Sara's lips as she brought her daughter up to her shoulder and held her close. She inhaled the baby scent that she loved so much and kissed her daughter's forehead. Sara could not for the life of her understand why the memories of his accident never stopped. She thought that after her daughter's birth that the memories would stop and be replaced by new, happy memories.

"Hayley, your daddy was in the coma for what seemed like forever," said Sara softly to her daughter, surprised that it made her feel better to talk about it. Even though Hayley probably could not understand a word Sara was saying, it still brought comfort to continue to speak to her child. "I just never had the heart to pull the plug on him...I wasn't ready to let him go. But, after a few months, I had lost all hope...that was the day you arrived in this world.

_It had been over five months since the accident, and Grissom still had not awakened from his slumber. Sara was nine months pregnant with the baby girl Grissom had been praying for, and she was still visiting Grissom every day. The team had tried to convince her to say goodbye to him, but she always screamed at them and said he would wake up. Sara was now losing hope and was about to go to the doctor to pull the plug, but she wanted to tell him a proper goodbye._

_"Gil, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know you're probably already gone, but I was still praying that you'd wake up. You're going to have a daughter in a few days, just like you'd prayed. I picked out a name, Hayley Anne Sidle. I chose her first name because you always loved that name, and her middle name was you're mother's first name. I wish her last name could be Grissom, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. I love you with all my heart, and I will always remember you."_

_Sara was just about to leave when she felt pain in her abdomen. She winced, and laid a hand on the side of her bulging belly. Sara figured it was the Braxton-Hicks, so she continued towards the door. She suddenly stopped as she felt something trickle down her leg. She froze and vividly remembered reading that when her water breaks, it would be a trickle and not a gush. Her heart started pounding as she pulled out her cell phone. She hit the speed dial button for Catherine and the blonde picked up._

_"Catherine, I need you to come here NOW!" exclaimed Sara, panic obvious in her voice._

_"Why, what happened? Is it something with Gil, the baby? Are you..."_

_"Cath, I think I'm in labor," said Sara, "I just need you to get here as quick as you can._

_"Okay Sara, I'm on my way, just keep calm," said Catherine worriedly. "I'll meet you in Gil's room in ten minutes."_

_Sara snapped her phone shut and pocketed it, laying her hands on the underside of her stomach. She sat back down and waited patiently for the strawberry-blonde to arrive. Just like she had promised, ten minutes later Catherine was knocking on the door. Sara got up and walked into the hallway. Together, the two women made their way towards the maternity ward for the hospital. They were nearly there when Sara stopped and bent over in pain._

_"How long has it been since your last contraction?" asked Catherine, laying a comforting hand on Sara's back._

_"I don't know, fifteen minutes maybe," said Sara, straightening up_

_"Wow, you're lucky," said Catherine jealously. "It took me over three hours to get them that close together when I was pregnant with Linds. Most women who are pregnant for their first time take forever to deliver the baby."_

_Sara nodded and continued to make her way to the front desk. They checked in, and the nurses took Sara to a room. Not wanting to be alone, Sara begged Catherine to come with her. The older woman complied and went with Sara. When you got to Sara's room, reality finally caught up with her. She faced Catherine, wide-eyed, and said, "Cath, I can't do this!"_

_"Yes you can, hon," soothed Catherine, "just like all of the other women who have children._

_"I wish Gil were here," Sara said tearfully, and then she gritted her teeth and slammed her eyes shut as she rode out the next contraction._

_"I know, Sara, I know," said Catherine, her heart aching for the crying brunette._

_Suddenly, a doctor came into the room and said, "Okay, let's see how far along you are."_

_She moved the blanket and took a peek. She smiled as she reappeared and said, "You're progressing very quickly, Sara. You are about seven centimeters dilated...would you like an epidural? If you do, we'll need to give it to you now."_

_Sara looked at Catherine for advice. She shrugged and said, "I had one...it wasn't as painful as it could've been, but I wasn't exactly "with it" if you know what I mean. I don't remember as much as I would have liked about the birth."_

_"Then no...I want to know exactly what's going on," said Sara._

_"Okay, I'll be back in an hour or so to check on you," said the doctor before exiting._

_Sara laid back and yawned. Catherine smiled gently and said, "You should try and get some rest. After you're ready to push, you're not going to have much time to rest. I'll be right here, okay?"_

_So, Sara shut her eyes and quickly fell into a slumber. It felt as though she had just closed her eyes when she felt someone gently shaking her awake. She opened her eyes and saw Catherine leaning over her._

_"Hey, Cat, how long was I out?"_

_"Two hours...we let you sleep for awhile," answered Catherine. "But not was doctor does need to check you."_

_She nodded and winced as a powerful contraction sliced through her. She massaged her abdomen as she muttered, "How the hell'd I sleep through those?"_

_"Wow, you're ten centimeters dilated," said the doctor._

_Another contraction came and Sara snarled, "Get her out!"_

_The doctor threw some scrubs on and the wheeled Sara to a delivery room. She was getting grumpier and grumpier as each contraction hit. By the time they got to the delivery room, she was ready to strangle somebody._

_"Do you feel an intense need to push?" the doctor asked._

_"FUCK YES!" Sara screamed, her throat feeling as if it were being ripped open._

_"Okay, then...push!"

* * *

_

**A/N 2:** Y'all have to wait for the next chapter to wait for the Geekbaby, and to see whether or not Sara pulls the plug like she was planning. The rest of this story came from an idea **The Queen of Sin** had...no ruining it for people Joey!

Whoever reviews gets a hug!


	5. Thank You, God!

**Dreams and Realities:**

**Thank You, God**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI; I'm just trying to get through the day by playing with them.

**Summary:** Their whole relationship had been dream-like. You don't know how bad she wished this was. GSR

**A/N:** This is my very first fan-fiction, so it probably sucks. This isn't beta-ed. Thanks a million to **devilssmile666**; she helped me get my ideas into clear, logical sentences! You rock girly!!

* * *

Sara held her daughter tightly and decided that it was time to put the munchkin back to bed. She walked back into the nursery and gently placed the infant back in the cradle. Sara watched Hayley sleep for a long time, love filling her heart with each breath her daughter took. Sara yawned and turned to go back to bed. She quietly padded into the room and crawled into bed, trying to be as quiet as possible. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out like a light.

At first, all she saw in her dreams was Gil's smiling face, and she was happy with that. However, those pictures started become more and more gruesome. Grissom's smiling face turned into a look of pain, and all of these cuts and bruises started forming on his face, and she instantly saw him in the hospital. Her dreams picked right back up where she left off.

_"Okay, Sara, push!" the doctor instructed._

_Sara did as she was told, and she felt unimaginable pain. She bit her lip, clenched her eyes shut, and stopped breathing to restrain herself from screaming. She felt vulnerable enough, and she did not want Catherine or the doctor to see her at her weakest point. Apparently Catherine noticed with, and she squeezed Sara's hand encouragingly and said, "It's okay to show people what you are feeling. Childbirth is what puts most women to the test...even the strongest woman will experience pain. I know you don't like people seeing your emotions, but it's okay to let them show this time."_

_Sara groaned as she continued to push. She panted a few times before continuing pushing out her baby. She squeezed Catherine's hand tightly and cried out. Catherine had her arm around Sara's shoulders, and gently urged Sara to keep going. Sara gave another strong push and she felt as though she was splitting right in half. She let out a scream and a few tears rolled down her cheeks._

_"It's a healthy baby girl!" exclaimed the doctor brightly. "Excellent job Sara!"_

_Sara collapsed back into Catherine's arms and the blonde hugged her excitedly. She beamed brightly and whispered, "Oh my God, I'm so proud of you Sara. You did so good, honey...you should be proud of yourself, too!"_

_Sara gave her a weak smile and she listened to the loud cried of her baby girl. She turned her head towards the sound and saw a nurse wiping the baby off with a towel before gently handing her the baby. Sara looked into the baby's face and instantly fell in love again. She tried to stop the tears, but they would not stop._

_"Oh my God, she's beautiful!" she exclaimed tearfully. "How can I love someone so much I just met?"_

_"You created her out of love...that kind of creation reciprocates the feelings," answered Catherine, looking at the infant. "You think you love her now, wait until she smiles at you for the first time, laughs for the first time, and calls you Mommy for the first time...you'll think your heart will nearly melt."_

_Sara smiled and handed her daughter reluctantly back to the nurse to she could get measured, weight, and whatnot. Sara never looked away from the baby, and held out her arms when the nurse walked back with her, fully clothed. Sara cradled her closely and gently stroked her cheek._

_"You did great Sara...I think I'm gonna head home now, though," she said. "You know how to reach me if you need something. Oh, and what's her name?"_

_"Hayley Anne Gr- uh, Sidle," said Sara quietly._

_Catherine heard her near slip-up but pretended as if she did not. She smiled one last time before turning around and exiting. Sara sighed as she looked at Hayley lovingly. Tears filled her eyes as she whispered painfully, "Gil, she's perfect...thank you."_

_Sara continued to watch her daughter until a nurse offered to take her to the nursery so Sara could sleep. Sara agreed and slipped into a blissful sleep._

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

_Sara and Hayley were released two days later. Before going home, Sara wanted to finish what she meant to do before giving birth to Hayley. She walked to ICU room 219 and silently entered with a bundle in her arms. She sat down in the seat she vacated three days prior. She gently grasped her boyfriend's hand and whispered, "See, here's your baby girl...here's Hayley. She's perfect, thank you for her...I wish you could help me take care of her, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen."_

_She sighed and wiped away the tears, and said, "I wish you would've just woken up! Hayley needs a Daddy...I need a lover. I'm sorry, but I know you wouldn't have wanted to spend the rest of your life like this. I love you so much, and I will make sure Hayley knows who her Daddy was...I'm sorry!"_

_She stood up and placed a gent kiss on his lips. She expected them to be a deathly cold; on the contrary, they were warm. That made the goodbye so much more difficult. She walked away, leaving a single tear on his cheek that had fallen off of her. She turned around and walked towards the door, her heart feeling as if it were going through a paper-shredder. She was about to turn the door when she thought she heard a rustling sound. She turned around, but she did not see him moving at all. She turned back around, telling herself she was going crazy. She then most definitely heard more rustling and she turned around and walked back to the bed. She gripped his hand and said, "Gil, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand or moved some part of your body."_

_Sara felt the lightest squeeze ever, but it was definitely a squeeze. She hit the call button for a nurse and returned her hand to his face. She stroked his cheek and said, "Honey, try and open your eyes for me...can you do that sweetie?" _

_Miraculously, she saw his eyes flutter. She continued encouraging him and coaxing him to open those cute blue eyes. His eyes finally opened and he blinked a few times. Tears fell down her cheeks as she thanked God over and over again. She smiled, as he said, "Sara?"_

_"Yeah, it's me!" she said breathlessly. "Oh my God!"_

_"What happened?" he croaked._

_"Shh, just hang on for a second...I'll tell you everything once you're check out," she said as the nurses rushed in._

_They checked him over and said he should make a full recovery. Sara stood in the background, hugging Hayley, and watched silently. Happiness filled her heart and she waited patiently until they left. She sat down when the doctor's and nurses made their exit and gripped his hand tightly._

_"So, what happened?" he croaked hoarsely._

_"Do you remember anything?" she asked._

_"I remember kissing you goodbye...I was following you home," he started. "There was a loud crash, and I was in extreme pain...I saw you're face...you were worried...I saw your face."_

_"You were in a serious accident," she said._

_She repeated everything that had happened in the last five months. She finished by showing him his daughter, and she smiled as she saw the love in his eyes. He gently stroked Hayley's chubby cheek and he said, "She's beautiful Sara...I wish I could've been there. I wish she would've stayed inside you for a few more days."_

_"No you don't!" she warned him darkly._

_"Why?"_

_She sighed, looked at her hands, and said sadly, "I had given up hope...I was just about ready to have the doctors take you off of life support when she decided to make her grand entrance. I'm so glad she chose to come then...if she hadn't, you wouldn't be here right now."_

_Grissom didn't say anything, but he just continued to gaze at his daughter, love emanating from him in waves. She beamed and thought to herself,_ 'Thank you, God...I know you must've been watching over us!"

Sara shot up in bed as the dream stopped instantly. Her breathing was ragged as she hugged her knees to her chest. Suddenly, Sara felt the person beside her stir. She looked down and saw the man open his eyes and gaze up at her.

"Sorry, Gil, I didn't mean to wake you," Sara said apologetically.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Sara, did you have another nightmare?"

She did not have to answer him; her sobs were enough. He embraced her and rocked her gently back and forth. He laid them both back down, and he turned her so they were facing each other. He wrapped her up in his arms and inhaled the fruit scent of her hair. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, the salty tears falling onto his bare skin. He slipped his hand under the fabric of her tank top and caressed her soft skin. He whispered sweet nothings into her ear until she calmed down enough to talk.

"I don't know why I still have the memories...it's like a movie!" she whispered, the images of the crash still plagued in her mind. "You're fine and healthy, and we have Hayley...I don't know what's wrong with me!"

"Sara, nothing is wrong with you!" he said sharply.

"I just can't help but seeing you're bloodied face and broken body lying there in the hospital bed...you looked so small and fragile," she muttered, her voice muffled by his shoulder. "I had never been so scared in my life...I don't ever wanna feel like that again! What if it happens again...what if it happened with Hayley! Oh God!" she moaned.

"I know what you need right now," he whispered. "I'll be right back."

He got out of bed and limped out of the room. Even though he'd been through tons of physical therapy, he still walked with a limp. He came back into the room, carrying their now-awake daughter. Some of the fear in Sara's heart melted away as she saw the innocent baby.

"You didn't wake her, did you?" she asked.

"No, she was awake in her crib when I walked in...she flashed me the biggest grin when she saw me," he said with a smile. "She has your smile...I love it!"

She smiled as he got into bed with their baby girl. Hayley reached for her mother when all three of them were sitting in bed. She gently scooped her up and set her in her lap. Hayley then looked at her dad and whined and reach for him. Sara giggled and said, "I think she's confused."

Sara made a compromise that would not confuse their daughter. She set the baby in between them and Hayley yawned, and rubbed her eyes with a fist. Sara put a pillow behind Hayley's back so she could lean back, but not lay all the way down. Sara left the room and returned again with Hayley's crib. Grissom got up to help her position it beside their bed, and then Sara gently laid Hayley inside. She kissed her daughter's forehead and stepped back to allow her husband to say goodnight.

The couple crawled back into bed, and Sara curled up in Grissom's arms. A few minutes later, the three Grissom's drifted off into a peacefully sleep.

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**A/N 2:** Okay, I didn't kill him off...happy now? Please review and tell me what you thought...there will only be one or two more chapters. Tell me some ideas that you have and I may just put your idea into the final chapter/s. 


	6. Four Years Later

**Dreams and Realities:**

**Four Years Later**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI; I'm just trying to get through the day by playing with them.

**Summary:** Their whole relationship had been dream-like. You don't know how bad she wished this was. GSR

**A/N:** This is my very first fan-fiction, so it probably sucks. This isn't beta-ed. Thanks a million to **devilssmile666**; she helped me get my ideas into clear, logical sentences! You rock girly!!

**A/N 2:** Yes, this is the final chapter. Unfortunate, I know, but all good things must come to an end.

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**FOUR YEARS LATER:**

The year had past very quickly...a bit too quickly for the couple's liking. Their baby girl was growing up so fast. She was quick in developing, and began talking like there was no tomorrow by the time she was two. She also had a ton of energy and apparently seemed to think she had to run everywhere she went. However, you could still tell she was the child of Gilbert Grissom and Sara Grissom...she was very shy and did not like to socialize with other people unless her parents were right there by her side.

The effects of Grissom's accident had worn down after a few months. Sara had stopped having nightmares, especially when Hayley started doing her firsts, (crawling, walking, talking, et cetera). Sara remembered back when Catherine told her she would love Hayley even more when Hayley would do these things. Sara was amazed that she did. The first time Hayley smiled at her, Sara's heart melted and she couldn't stop smiling either. When Hayley first started walking, Sara and Grissom were thrilled, but then it became a challenge to keep up with her.

Now, little Hayley Grissom was turning five years old, and would start kindergarten in a few weeks. Hayley sat down at the table and waited excitedly for the cake. She was surrounded by her extended family – Greg, Catherine, Nick, Warrick, Wendy, Hodges, Brass, Doc Robbins, David, and Archie – but no friends. Her parents hoped that she would develop more people skills as she got into school.

Sara brought in the birthday cake – followed by her husband – and set it in front of her daughter. She lit the candles and the room began to sing 'Happy Birthday'. When done, Sara told Hayley to make a wish and blow out her candles. Hayley thought for a bit and then drew in a deep breath and blew out the flames. The birthday girl beamed as everyone clapped. Sara sliced the cake and gave everyone a piece, giving her daughter the biggest corner piece.

After the cake, Hayley asked politely if she could open her presents. Her parents agreed and she started ripping off the wrapping paper. After a half and hour, Hayley had opened all of her presents. Her father grinned at her as he said, "Hayley, you're Mommy and I have a present for you. It's in the garage...come on, let's go see what it is!"

Hayley giggled as she hopped out of her chair and followed her dad down the hall way. He opened the door to the garage, and went in first before his daughter. Sara lead their daughter in after he gave her the signal. When Hayley enter, a black blur bolted towards her. Hayley giggled and dropped to her knees, scratching her new puppy behind the ears. Grissom and Sara stood side-by-side, admiring their daughter. Sara placed her hand on the bump on her stomach when she felt a kick.

She was indeed pregnant again, again with another baby girl. Hayley was so excited when he parents told her she would be a big sister in a few months. Grissom had also been excited and promised himself he would be there to see the birth of this child.

He wrapped his arms around his wife as she snapped a few photos of their daughter. Hayley finally dragged herself away from her puppy and ran over to her parents. Grissom scooped her up in his arms and lifted her into the air. She wrapped her arms around her Daddy and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She was then handed to her mother so she could give Sara the same response.

"Thank you Mommy and Daddy!" she squealed.

"I'm glad you like her!" Sara said with a grin. "What are you gonna name her, hon?"

"Hmm," said Hayley as she scrunched up her face in concentration. "Brooke...her name is gonna be Brooke!"

"Okay, let's go inside and you can play with her, okay?"

Hayley nodded enthusiastically as she ran inside with her puppy following her behind closely. Hayley and Brooke played on the floor, and the five year old was determined to teach the dog 'sit'. Sara and Grissom watched for over 30 minutes humorously. Sara said, "Honey, I don't think she's old enough to –"

Suddenly, Hayley said sit, and the dog miraculously sat down on her rear. Hayley praised the pup and tried it again. Again, Brooke sat on command. Grissom and Sara watched in amazement and shrugged. Sara curled up next to her husband and they watched their daughter play with the black Labrador.

As Grissom watched, he wrapped his arms around his wife. He placed his hand on her abdomen and felt the baby move. He smiled and thought to himself, '_I've got everything I need...a beautiful home, great friends, an a wonderful family I wouldn't trade for the world._'

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**A/N 3:** Yes, it's a fairly short chapter, but I needed to wrap it up. The next story might not be so happy, so enjoy it while it lasts! Review, and I'll give you a hug!! 


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